.::Utopian Fantasies: Dreams are made of these::.

Welcome to the planet. Welcome to existence. Everything's here. Everybody's watching you now. Everybody waits for you now. What happens next? What happens next? I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. I dare you to move. Like today never happened. Today never happened before.

Angelic voices resonate herein

current playlist: My alternative picks

Welcome to my utopia

[ .R u L e Z. ]

[#o1] Do not rip anything off.
[#o2] What's here remains here.
[#o3] Tag before you leave.
[#o4] No vulgarities.
[#o5] Leave if you're unhappy.
[#o6] To navigate, click on the images on top *look up*
[#o7] If a song annoys you, just hit the STOP button.
[#o8] Support the ONE Campaign by clicking on the banner below.
[#o9] Help children around the world fight AIDS by clicking below.

New counter!

About Me

.Fast Facts.
Name: Ninin/ Ninia/ NJ to some
Age: 17 18 yrs. old
School: UP Manila
Course: Organizational Communication

Adores

... writing. It is only when I write that I feel truly alive.
... shopping! Really! I'm such a mall rat these past few m0nths.
... the color ORANGE. It's food to my eyes.
... nailpolish. It's uber cool and I love that I can change my nail color to my match my mood.
... cooking! The kitchen is my sanctuary.
... baking! I love baking cakes & pastries. Have you tried my choco chip cookies?
... reading. Books are my entry door to the realm of dreams.
... sleeping! Especially since I'm a certified insomniac. Most of my sleeping, I do during classes. lol!
... playing Table Tennis. It's only wen I play dat I feel I can simply be myself. No pretensions. No nothing.
... Sports. I'm very sporty and like doing guy stuffs.
... racing. I have a fetish for cars and have a great need for speed.
... spontaneity. I'm very spontaneuos and I love being with people who are also like me.
... Hot wheels. I collect Hot wheels (y'know, the toy cars?)
... flipflops. It's so comfy and I have 'em in almost every color to match my outfits.
... Overstuffed bags. I adore big bags!
... Coffee. Yum! Coffee=heaven.
... Dogs. They're uber cute! Too bad I don't own one ryt now.
... Dessert! It completes every meal. Besyds it improves your mood. take my word for it.
... Veggies. I'm a semi- vegitarian and loves veggie everything.
... Tofu! I swear, I can live on these alone. Anything soy and organic, I'm game for that!
... Sweet Stuff. I'm such a vanilla-caramel-marshmallow afficionado. Quite a surprise considerng I don't eat marshmallows... i juz luv d scent, dats ol...
... The RAIN. It just completely comforts me and brings me ease.
... Writing on my journal. It just keeps me sane.
... Perfumes. A spritz of perfume always completes every look.
... music. I'm a music buff and love to play my guitar and sometimes, my piano too.

Loathes

... Backstabbers! Gosh! I really hate 'em!
... Liars. Grr!
... Social climbers.
... Antagonists. Need I say more?
... Cats. Not just bec. I'm a dog lover. I hate 'em for they're so irritating!
... Foul odors. Anything that involves the nose, I can really be super sensitive.
... Biatches. They can really get into your nerves sometimes.
... Raisins. Yuck!

Wishes & Dreams

- Ney! Haha! Kidding!
- Sheer bliss.
- World Peace. Yah... that would be great.
- A ticket to dreamland.

Like water for salt

Monday, July 23, 2007

current addiction: eating out
playlist favorite: Fences- Paramore

Loud music reverberates. Buzz! A message arrived. There's no air. Sweat trickles. There's no other person around. Just the computer. Just the computer. The computer... and then, there's me.

It's another of my unusual dramatic nights. I blame the star-studded sky and my mondate with Soan. I dunno, but I suddenly felt really sad. Nostalgic is the right term. Yes, I am again sucked into the bittersweet world that is my past.

I don't really want to delve too much but I guess I just feel sad that I no longer am in touch with a lot of my really lovely high school friends. It makes me really sad to merely reminisce about them now and even sadder to think that this is what became of us.

All our shared dreams, passions, promises, where are they now? What happened to them? It feels so surreal that I have to keep reminding myself that High school did happen. I did meet them. We really did share something special then.

Water on cheeks. I taste salt. My vision... Why all the haze? Water. Flowing like falls. What is this? Wait. It won't stop. It won't stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!

Is it really inevitable? Can't friendship be forever? Why must communication, distance, consistency be a barrier? I miss them. I really do. I hate reminiscing. It only means I am longing. It only rubs in the fact that I no longer have new memories with them. All I have is the past.

I know that I am also guilty here. I let this happen. And yes, maybe that's why I feel so bad about it-- because I didn't do anything to stop it. I apologize so much to my dear best friend because I wasn't there when she needed me most. I know I should have been because she has always been there for me. I am so sorry Rea. I owe you a lot and I really miss you... I often dream about her. She permeates my subconscious but I never had the initiative to ask her how's she's doing. I have not been a good best friend to her. I wasn't there. I simply wasn't there.

I miss my HS barkada too. The rockabyebabez, Cosio, Abby, and Dani. They were the ones who served as my breather from all the hectic schoolwork. They were my best critics and supporters. I miss hanging out with them. I miss them truly. I am sorry too for being so passive and letting our friendship wane. I failed to keep in touch. I failed.

There are still a lot of people I miss but my head hurts too much. Regret is taking over me. It's killing me slowly. I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry.

Knock. Knock. Why is there knocking in my head? Who's there?! I know you're looking! Where are you? Stop knocking! Stop knocking! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!!!

Blackness. Where am I?

Who are you?

Labels: sad

posted by Ninin @ 9:18 PM